Child Psychology

» Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen - friends with your ex?

I'm not comfortable with my husband spending time with his exes, and I don't think it's a jealousy thing. I trust him and know he'd never go back or cheat on me, but....it just bothers me.

Can exes really be friends, or is there always that niggling thought or memory that you were once lovers? For me, the thought of the past is always there.

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» jesika15 - friends with your ex?

In response to friends with your ex? posted by LauriePK:

My ex husband is remarried and has been for six years, I have never remarried, by choice. My significant other and I are friends with both my ex and his wife, we go to dinner together and have Christmas together, including exchanging gifts, etc. My ex and I have two children together and there isnt any jealousy or trust issues, we obviously know that we are the parents to our two children and respect and appreciate what we like about each other and realize that we were just not good together. We both co-parent, if something is going on with our children, I call him and we handle it together and vica versa. When my ex-husband was thinking about opening his own business, he came to talk with me about it just because he knows I will tell him like it is, not just what he wants to hear. It has been so long that we havent been together that it is like we never were together, and we are just like lifetime friends. I have known him for 30yrs. Dont get me wrong, we do not hang around together all the time, but when we do it is not uncomfortable. My children really appreciate our effort and have learned valuable life lessons from their mom and dad because we do get along, and since we have split up my ex-husband has always gotten along with the guys I have dated, there has never been jealousy issues there either. In fact, my current significant other, calls my ex and sends work to him, talks with his wife, etc. Most people are shocked by how well we all get along.

-- posted by jesika15

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» Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen - friends with your ex?

In response to friends with your ex? posted by jesika15:

Wow, that sounds like an ideal situation - and everyone seems so healthy and mature! It does make a difference if you have kids, I think -- that gives everyone an excellent reason to treat each other with respect and kindness.
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Time really does make a difference. The longer I'm married, the less I care about his ex -- especially since they don't have any contact! But even if they did, I think I wouldn't be bothered. There are too many other, more important, things to put my energy towards.
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Jesika, thanks for your post! I just saw it today (a month later). It got lost in the ether somehow...

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