The warning signs are best met with open, direct, and honest communication. Do what you can, and at the end of the day forgive yourself no matter what happens.
Facing the reality of suicide is incredibly painful and even surreal, but it's important to know the facts – even if you think it's too late. There are myths surrounding suicidal thoughts and tendencies; breaking the stigma and learning the truth can save lives of people you didn't even know were at risk.
A million people kill themselves every year; recent research attempts to describe why.
- Myth: Talking about suicide gives people permission to seriously consider it as a solution to their problems – and even attempt it.
- Fact: People flirting with the idea may feel isolated and unloved. Bringing up the subject opens doors and conversations, especially if you listen and are sincerely concerned. If suicide is talked about openly and without judgment, depressed or sad people may feel a connection to life and others.
- Myth: Suicidal people want to die.
- Fact: They want their pain to end – they don't necessarily want to die.
- Myth: Suicide is always unpredictable.
- Fact: It's often a process. The majority of people who committed suicide gave some indication that they were unhappy, depressed, or even considering suicide.
- Myth: Few people want to kill themselves.
- Fact: A large number think about it, but far fewer actually attempt it.
- Myth: Depression indicates a suicide risk.
- Fact: Mood disorders – depression, bipolar, dysthymia, and other non-specific mood disorders – as well as substance disorders and disruptive have been linked to suicide.
- Myth: Suicides don't influence friends or family members to do the same.
- Fact: If one partner commits suicide, the risk that the other will is substantially increased.
Indicators of suicidal thinking:
- One or more previous attempts
- Withdrawal, lack of energy, no appetite
- Sudden changes in behavior (negatively or positively)
- Death by suicide or attempted suicide by friends or family members
- Preoccupation with death, dying, or methods of suicide
- Giving away possessions
- Depression, moodiness, despair
"Rock singer Kurt Cobain repeatedly watched news footage of a government official who committed suicide during a news conference before carrying out his own suicide in 1994," states Florida State University's Psychology Professor Thomas Joiner. It's not usually a new concept to people considering it. They learn about it before they attempt it.
Trust your instincts. If something strikes you as odd or worrisome about someone's words or behavior, follow up on it! Maybe you're being overly sensitive to their thoughts and actions; even so, then it could still be an enlightening discussion that improves your relationship. If your guts are on target you could be saving someone's life.
When you're left behind. Research shows that counseling doesn't reduce depression or grief when you've lost someone to suicide, but it does help prevent perceptions of blame. This is complicated grief, which can be alleviated by cognitive behavioral therapy.
When a loved one commits suicide, it's crucial to remember that it's not your fault; you did nothing wrong. It's a terrible thing to face – especially if you do it alone. Get help. Surround yourself with friends, family, and people who care about you.
