Introverts and Extroverts in Love Relationships

Communication Tips for Partners With Different Personality Types

Sep 23, 2007 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

When opposites attract, introverts and extroverts in love can clash! This description of different personality traits will help improve communication in marriage.

Two major personality types are extroverts and introverts, which are opposite ends of the spectrum of personality traits. Extroverts and introverts fall in love all the time – because opposites attract – but may find it difficult to build a strong relationship or marriage because of communication differences.

Though relationship conflict is inevitable, resolving conflict and improving communication is easier when you understand introverted and extroverted personality types. You might consider a personality test to determine if you're an introvert or an extrovert (online personality tests are usually easy to take, and accurate).

Or, you may just want to scan through these personality traits of introverts and extroverts to see your own personality profile.

Introverted Personality Traits

Introverts are usually energized by being alone, private, and quiet. Introverts are more sensitive to social rejection, and don't always see the world as a safe place.

Emotionally stable introverts are:

• Passive
• Careful
• Thoughtful
• Controlled
• Reliable
• Even-tempered
• Calm

Emotionally unstable introverts can be:

• Quiet
• Pessimistic
• Unsociable
• Sober
• Rigid
• Moody
• Anxious
• Reserved

Extroverted Personality Traits

Extroverts tend to be energized by groups of people, conversation, and activity. Extroverts are less sensitive to rejection, and see the world as a safer place.

Emotionally stable extroverts are:

• Sociable
• Outgoing
• Talkative
• Responsive
• Easygoing
• Lively
• Carefree
• Leaderlike

Emotionally unstable extroverts can be:

• Active
• Optimistic
• Impulsive
• Changeable
• Excitable
• Aggressive
• Restless
• Touchy

(Source: Perspectives on Personality by Carver Scheier.)

Communication Tips for Introverts and Extroverts in Love Relationships

Understanding your partner's personality traits is the key to resolving relationship conflict. The introvert needs to understand his extroverted partner's need for social activity; the extrovert needs to understand her introverted partner's need for privacy and downtime.

Finding compromise when opposites attract or when you' have different personality traits is also important. The introvert could go to the social event with the extrovert; the extrovert could agree to leave at an earlier time. The introvert could suggest comfortable solutions to situations the extrovert enjoys, such as smaller, more intimate dinner parties instead of huge events.

Accepting your differences is crucial. It's one thing to understand the personality profiles of introverts and extroverts; it's totally different to actually accept and even admire different personality traits. Acceptance means the introvert doesn't try to change the extrovert and vice versa. Acceptance means the extrovert really sees the value of the introvert's personality profile – and vice versa.

Personality testing isn't always necessary when it comes to discovering introverted or extroverted personality traits! People generally have an idea of their own traits; the key is for extroverts and introverts to find harmonious ways to live and love together.

If you found Introverts and Extroverts in Love Relationships helpful, you might find Resources for Extroverts and Introverts helpful.

The copyright of the article Introverts and Extroverts in Love Relationships in Marriage is owned by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen. Permission to republish Introverts and Extroverts in Love Relationships in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

Introverts & Extroverts in Love

Comments

Jun 27, 2009 4:28 PM

Guest :

Great! So should extroverts and introverts be together? I find it frustrating when I want to go,go,go and my partner is slow, slow, slow. I don't diss them for it,but I feel they try to quiet me, slow me or make me feel like I need to relax more. I want to be me. I let them be them , but at times I am made to feel like I am too much. Therein lies the problem.

Jul 10, 2009 9:33 AM

Guest :

I think the article says it best that both personalities need to have an understanding about what makes the other Tick. I used to get so dragged down when my wife just wanted to stay home and organize the closet without talking or we would sit next to eachother watchiing TV without interacting. But after reading a few books and this article I realized that it was just how she worked. We both came to a compromise. If I need her to Step it up she will and I will Tone down when she asks. I have honestly learned to relax alittle more and I see the difference in her when we are in social settings.

Aug 8, 2009 2:14 AM

Guest :

I am very impressed with the article and I like what they are talking about because I'm introverted and some people think it is so bad but when someone knows your personality, and treat us differently, importantly, they know the peronalidad your partner or friends so they can get along.

3 Comments