Struggling alone is not a good way for teenagers and adolescents to deal with feelings of depression and sadness! Here are tips to help depressed teens find ways to cope.
Feelings of sadness, anxiety, and exhaustion are a few signs of depression in teenagers and adolescents. The following help for depressed teens includes specific ways to deal with despair, hopelessness, and helplessness.
Remember That Depression Can be Treated!
Teenagers and adolescents don’t always realize that depression can often be easily and effectively treated. Feelings of helplessness and despair are overwhelming, and can cause teens to believe they’ll never find the right help for depression. Depressed teens may also think that they can’t talk to anyone, that nobody understands, and that there’s no way out. This is the depression talking; it’s not reality.
Feelings of depression can be effectively treated, but only if teens and adolescents take it upon themselves to get help.
Open Up to an Adult About Depressed Feelings
Many teenagers and adolescents are reluctant to talk about their feelings of depression, sadness, or anxiety with their parents. Teens and adolescents don’t want to worry their parents or cause problems. They also may feel that parents won’t understand, or will become anxious or angry.
Sometimes parents aren’t the best “go to” people when teens are dealing with depression. In that case, some teens and adolescents find other adults supportive: guidance counselors, teachers, spiritual leaders, or coaches. Peer mentors or youth leaders can also be extremely helpful. Eventually, however, depressed teens and adolescents must accept that parents may have to be involved in the treatment at some point. Getting help for depression often involves leaving comfort zones and having difficult discussions.
Be Ready to Discuss the Beginning and Progression of Depression
Help for depressed teens and adolescents is most effective when they are prepared to describe when they first started feeling sad, anxious, or helpless. The more specific teenagers are in describing their feelings, the more effective the treatment process. And, the more willing teens and adolescents are to find solutions and get help for their depressed feelings, the better and more empowered they’ll feel.
Depressed teens and adolescents also need to remember that depression affects millions of North Americans! Depression is called the “common cold” of mental health because it affects so many people. Feelings of depression are part of most people’s everyday experience and mental health – but long-lasting, serious feelings of hopelessness and helplessness need to be addressed as soon as possible.
Related Reading for Teens and Adolescents With Depression
Treatments for Depressed Teenagers or Children describes “combination therapy,” which blends traditional talk therapy with antidepressants to treat depression and improve mental health.
The copyright of the article Help for Depressed Teenagers in Child Psychology is owned by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen. Permission to republish Help for Depressed Teenagers in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
I feel like I'm depressed all the time I just I'm afraid to talk to someone
I'm only 15 I just don't want to go through all that trouble I just I hide
it from my mother I act so happy around her so I don't worry. Her I feel
alone and helpless I need help but I don't think anyone will believe me I'm
very sure I'm depressed I just don't know how to talk about it or to who I
really need help ever since my dad killed himself I cry alot. And wish I
was dead I also cut myself that how bad I'm getting please help me.
Aug 31, 2009 9:07 PM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Hi,
I'm very sorry you feel so bad and depressed about your life
-- you sound like you're in alot of pain. I wish I could help you more than
I can! I'm very happy that you reached out here -- that took alot of
courage. It's hard to admit how you feel when you're in pain, and I'm glad
you talked about it here. It shows you're a survivor!
Please ask
someone for help in person. I know you don't want to go through the hassle
of it all, but is the hassle of asking for help worse than feeling
depressed and in constant pain?
If you just can't get help in
person yet, get more in-depth help online. Go to TeensHealth.org (just type
that into Google). You could also call a teenagers helpline -- search for
Teens Helpline or Kids Helpline.
I'm afraid there aren't any
quick and easy solutions that I can give you. You're dealing with heavy
stuff, especially with your father's suicide, and it's very very hard to
survive it all alone! Finding adult support is the best way to cope with
your problems, even though it's not the most fun thing to do. But again --
getting help is less painful than continuing to struggle through life as a
depressed teenager. This won't likely just go away by itself....you need to
take action and deal with the cause of your depression.
Remember -- the sooner you start taking control and finding ways to deal
with your depression, the better you'll feel and the sooner you'll be over
the worst of it!
Regarding your father, I wrote a blog post
about coping with suicide and included links that might be helpful. Just
click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to
"How Do I Survive When a Loved One Commits Suicide?" You can also
find it in the August, 2009 list on the side panel.
I wish you
all the best, and invite you to come back anytime. Let me know if you've
been able to get help.
Laurie
Sep 1, 2009 12:34 AM
Guest :
I came from the suburbs and used to live a very comfortable life. Recently,
my family has been going through financial difficulties. We had to move to
the ghetto. I left my friends who were so very dear to me. Every night, I
fear that someone might break into my room or that when I go outside, I
would get jumped or whatnot. I now have to go to a terrible school that
does not suit my academic needs and capabilities. At night, I can't even
pee because the of roaches. My father is a d-bag who has a mistress that
only I know of. My older sister is an uncontrollable rebel. My mother is a
nagger. I don't know what to do. I find myself having suicidal thoughts.
Sep 1, 2009 5:43 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Hi,
I'm sorry about your family's financial difficulties and all
the things that are going on with your parents! It's alot to deal with.
Please read my comment and take my advice to the above reader, and
call a help line. Thoughts of suicide are scary, and that definitely
doesn't make things better. The only thing that makes things better is
dealing with your problems head on -- by getting help.
Also,
once you start making friends at your new school and in your neighborhood,
you'll feel better. Not having friends and dealing with all that you're
going through definitely makes things harder. Stay connected to your old
friends through email, Facebook, etc -- and be open to making new friends.
Remember -- you won't be the only new person at your school, or
in your neighborhood! There are others who are going through the same
adjustments and problems...and if you can hook up with them and help each
other through, you'll feel much better about life. Also, I encourage you
to focus on the good things in your new place. Now that your family doesn't
have such a huge financial burden, maybe there's less stress and a little
more money. I don't know -- but your family had to make this move, and
everyone has to make the best of it.
I wish you all the best,
and hope your new school and friends surprise you by how great they are!
Good luck,
Laurie
Sep 3, 2009 3:44 PM
Guest :
Thank you so much. You have been the greatest help.
Sep 11, 2009 10:36 PM
Guest :
Jake, I have been a good kid all my life and i just got arrested last night
for my first time and hopefully my last. I got an M.I.P. for alcohol and i
ran from the cops. Yes this was very stupid. Anyways it has been about 24
hours since I got arrested and I haven't been able to eat or sleep and have
had a really hard time with this. I am scared about my future and that my
dad won't look at me the same ever again. Im just looking for any kind of
advice, anything
Sep 12, 2009 6:14 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Hi,
Yikes – what a scary experience for you! It sounds like it
had a dramatic effect on you, and you’ve learned an important life lesson.
Think of it this way: some teens get into trouble with the police or other
authorities, and never learn to pull it together and make the most of their
lives.
You made a serious mistake, you got caught, and you’re
paying the price. It’s painful…but you probably won’t pay for this for the
rest of your life! That is, you’ll learn from it and move on. Your future
isn’t destroyed (I don’t think – though I guess it depends on much trouble
you’re in. Usually, though, teens who brush up against the law and who are
repentant and want to move forward, do create a successful life for
themselves).
In all probability, your dad will forgive you. Yes,
you disappointed him and you have to live with it for awhile…but parents
love their kids A LOT, and forgive their kids a lot! This will pass, and
you and he may even have a better relationship than before.
It
might be helpful to ask him what you can do to make it up to him. Find out
how you can repair the damage. There may be nothing, but at least you’ll
know.
And remember – making mistakes, having regrets, forgiving
ourselves, asking others to forgive us, and then moving forward is what
life is all about. The best you can do is learn from your mistake, fix it
as best you can, and then live a better life from now on.
And
pat yourself on the back for being a good kid all your life…now you know
firsthand what being “bad” is like! Now you can choose bad or good, and you
know what is better for you.
Best wishes, Laurie
Sep 12, 2009 12:27 PM
Guest :
Hey, i'm Kendra and i think i'm suffering from depression...I use to be a
very outgoing person but now, i rarely go anywhere. I eat more than I
should even though it doesn't show. I'm still tryna get over a breakup that
ended 3 months ago...i'm almost always crying over things. I just feel i'm
going to have a nervous breakdown and what makes it all so bad is that it's
my Senior year in high school and out of all years why this year? But
looking at me, you wouldn't think i was like this unless i'm alone...I just
need some help and advice on how to get through this because i don't ask
for much, I just wanna be happy...
Sep 13, 2009 7:43 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Hi Kendra,
Thanks for sharing a bit of your life here – it
sounds like you’re dealing with a lot of stress and several life changes
right now!
To help you overcome your feelings of depression, I
wrote a post called “Tips for Teens Struggling With Depression” on my
Psychology Blog. You’re not alone, my friend – many teens struggle with
depressed feelings. Like you, they just don’t show it.
To read
that post, just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then
click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side.
Scroll down to “Tips for Teens Struggling With Depression” – it’s in the
September, 2009 section on the side panel. (I can’t post live links
here)
If you still have questions after reading that, please do
ask there or here.
Laurie
Sep 14, 2009 2:19 AM
Guest :
hi i am aly i have been suffering form depression (i am 13) and when
ever i tell my mom about she makes fun of me and i am so scared of things
that i dont go anywhere what should i do!
Sep 14, 2009 3:45 PM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Hi Aly,
I’m sorry to hear you’re depressed and that your mom
doesn’t understand. Can you find an adult to talk to who would understand,
such as an aunt, teacher, or coach? Another suggestion is to call a teen
distress or help line.
Also, please read my blog post called
“Tips for Teens Struggling With Depression” on my Psychology Blog. Like I
told Kendra above, you are not alone! So many teenagers struggle with
depressed feelings.
To read that post, just click on my name in
blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie
Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to “Tips for
Teens Struggling With Depression” – it’s in the September, 2009 section on
the side panel. (I can’t post live links here)
If you still have
questions after reading that, please do ask there or here! But, I
encourage you to get help in person. The internet is a wonderful place for
basic info, but in-depth help for serious things like depression really
needs to come from personal contact.
I’m sorry I can’t offer
more help than this – but please read the “Tips for Teens”, and ask more
questions there if you need to! And, try to find ways to get help in person
from an adult you can trust.
Best wishes, Laurie
Sep 17, 2009 1:11 PM
manar seleem :
hi, we're a 5 member family, 2 brothers and a sister,my younger
brother who is 15 years old is so close to my father.my father travelled
for 5 months for work when he was back my brother started to be with
different personality, he almost stopped interacting with us, almost doest
eat, lost his interest in all the activities he used to do, he used to be
funng and make us laugh all the time,and nothing from this happen, he
barely laugh, he doest want to go out,he changed the day ,my father came
from abroad and we dont know whats wrong with him???
Sep 17, 2009 1:52 PM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Hi Manar,
I’m sorry your brother seems to be struggling so much
right now, but it’s not possible for me to say what’s really going with
him. The internet is a wonderful place to get basic information about
depression and mental health issues, but specific help for specific
individuals has to come from in-person counseling.
Have you
tried asking your brother what’s wrong? Has anyone talked to him, perhaps
going out for a walk or a cup of coffee? The best way to find out what’s
bothering someone is to go directly to them and talk about it.
Why don’t you try talking to him – and maybe even talking to your father
or mother – and see if that uncovers any reason he’s changed his behavior
so drastically.
Another possibility is to talk to a teacher you
trust, a counselor, or even calling a help line. If you’re worried about
your brother’s mental health – or if you think he’s depressed – you might
need to reach out to experts who can help him and your family.
Thirdly, you could read the “Tips for Teenagers Struggling With
Depression” blog post that I mentioned above. If your brother is depressed,
then those tips might help you figure out how best to help him.
I hope things work out for him, and that he’s able to open up to you.
Best wishes,
Laurie
Sep 25, 2009 10:46 AM
Guest :
Hi Laurie,u're doing a good job cos anyone who helps a teenager is helping
to save the world.However i want to use this medium to advise all the
teenagers that only God has the perfect solution to the problem of
depression.I've been on that road and i can boldly say God is the
ultimate.
Sep 25, 2009 4:13 PM
Guest :
Hi, I'm 15, and i have been diagnosed with depression for nearly a
year now, and I personally see no improvents. Im currently on medicene for
my depression. My problem is that I just can't face school, I honestly
can't do it. However, no one seems to realise just how HARD it is for me to
get up and go. I have no motivation whatsoever, and my medication makes me
feel great fatigue which affects me throught the day. I can't even
concentrate in class so I dont see any reason in me being there. Although,
I believe I could study at home, but if I mention this its just brushed
aside and taken for a joke. How can I explain to my parents that this is a
very serious problem? They just wont have it. What to do?
Sep 26, 2009 8:53 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Hi,
I suggest going to an objective, external adult – such as a
teacher, guidance counselor, coach, pastor, etc – and explaining your
problem. Be as honest and forthright as you can: you feel depressed, you
can barely drag yourself out of bed, and your parents aren’t taking it
seriously enough. Ask this external adult to sit down with you and your
parents, and talk about the possible solutions.
Sometimes it
takes an objective point of view to help family members see real problems
more clearly. An external adult can act as your mediator, and help your
parents see that your struggles with depression are serious!
Another option is to contact TeensHealth.org (just type that into
Google). You could also call a teenagers helpline -- search for Teens
Helpline or Kids Helpline. Ask them the same question you asked here – they
may have more suggestions, because they specialize in teenagers and
problems such as depression.
The irony about depression is that
people who are depressed have little energy or motivation to get the help
they need, yet they need to take steps to get help. You can do it, though.
You will get through this rough stage; you just need to keep trying to
break through and get the help you need.
I encourage you to keep
talking about your depression and struggles until you get the support you
need!
Best wishes, Laurie
Oct 2, 2009 6:20 PM
Guest :
After looking at the signs of depression on this site, I've come to
conclude that I suffered from depression from fifth through seventh grade.
Every day I would almost cry getting out of bed because I'd dread the day.
School became a prison, the bathroom my sanctuary. In the stall no one
could see or judge me. My feelings were mostly based on my looks, which
weren't teased often but were still teased.
I thought I
recovered fairly well by myself, and I hid my thoughts effectively until my
nightly breakdowns. However, I recently broke it off with my best friend
officially. She had been acting really horribly to me, yet now I feel
there's a gap no one can fill. I don't miss her, but I can't find the same
connection with anyone else. I don't feel I can trust anyone enough
anymore, and I feel so lonely and depressed. I don't like going out much,
life has become boring, and every day seems routine.
My parents
have no idea. They tell me, if they notice, to get over it and grow up-that
I'm sulking for no reason. The guidance counselors all seem foreign, mean,
and/or hokey. I need help, whether through a friend or someone, and I don't
know how to get it. I can't put on this mask my whole life.
Oct 3, 2009 9:59 PM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Hi,
I’m sorry you’re struggling so much – and that you feel so
alone.
My best advice is for you to break through the barrier of
your guidance counselors or parents. You need adult support, such as a
counselor – one who you can relate to. There are many counselors who work
with teenagers, and I suspect there is one out there who you’ll respect and
trust. The trick is finding that person!
Teenage depression
sometimes just “goes away”, but sometimes it needs to be tackled and
overcome. Since yours didn’t just go away the first time, I think you
should reach out and get help – but not in the ways you’ve already
tried.
Call the Teens Helpline or TeensHealth.org (Google it).
They’ll be able to help you find the right resources for overcoming
depression in your area.
Another suggestion is to accept help
from the hokey guidance counselor. Set aside your own judgments, and
listen to what the counselor is actually telling you! Sometimes, the best
help comes from the most unlikely places…including guidance counselors who
are hokey or mean.
Finally, I suggest talking to another adult
in your life who you feel a connection to. Is there a teacher, coach,
pastor, relative, or even a librarian or principal you like? Talk to
them!
Getting help may be the most difficult thing you’ll done
so far in your life, but it’ll be worth it.
Best wishes, Laurie
Oct 20, 2009 5:44 PM
Guest :
i feel like im depressed. im 15 and a junior, i feel like i dont fit in as
much as i try. i have friends but i feel like they sometimes dont take me
seriously. my parents are pushing things on me of what i have to become. schools stressing me out. i feel overwhelmed and no one understands. i just want to feel better
Oct 22, 2009 6:55 PM
Guest :
I'm 16 and I feel like I'm depressed. I've gone through so much in my life
and the past few weeks its been really bad. School has been stressing me
out so much, I have a situation with a couple of friends and I used to like
this guy but then he started dating one of my good friends and she didnt
even tell me about it, I had to find out from someone else. I have had
suicidal thoughts for a while and I don't know what to do. I've told one of
my friends but it didnt help. I don't know what to do. I haven't gotten
much sleep cause I've been crying almost every night and sometimes during
my day I just feel like screaming cause its bothering me. I just act happy
in front of my family and friends so they don't ask me anything. Please
help cause I don't know how to continue...I just want to be happy like I
was when I was a kid.
Oct 24, 2009 10:15 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Hi,
You’ve been facing a lot of tough life challenges lately –
no wonder you feel depressed! Remember, depressed and sad feelings are
normal and healthy when you’ve experienced disappointment or heartbreak in
your life.
But, depressed feelings that last a long time or that
are overwhelming aren’t normal.
First, I suggest that you stop
acting different than how you feel. If you’re sad or depressed, share those
feelings with your family or friends. Just talking about how you feel can
make it better – and learning that others have felt the same way or
struggle with the same feelings will also make you feel better.
Second, I encourage you to actively look for ways to get help for
depression. I just wrote an article called “Solutions for Depressed or
Anxious Teens”, and it offers help for overcoming depression. Google that
article – “Solutions for Depressed or Anxious Teens” – and let me know if
anything there might work for you.
Finally, I encourage you to
write out your feelings. Do you have a diary or journal? The more you
express your feelings – whether by talking, writing, painting, drawing, etc
– the less hold they’ll have over you. And the less you’ll feel like crying
or screaming.
I hope this helps a little…and I hope your
feelings of depression pass.
Aug 19, 2009
