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Dating for Introverts

How Introverted People Can Enjoy the Singles Scene

© Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

Dec 11, 2007
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Dating for introverts can be difficult: meeting new people, making small talk, making the first move. These tips will help introverted people enjoy the singles scene.

Dating for introverts is often intimidating because relationships – especially new ones – often require huge amounts of energy. When you’re an introvert in the singles scene, you’re often required to make small talk with unfamiliar people, go out of your comfort zone, plan outings, make the first move, and process pent-up emotions.

Being an introvert in the singles scene doesn’t have to be painful; marriage for introverts isn’t an impossible goal. Millions of introverted people enjoy great relationships, especially when they and their lovers truly understand one another. Knowing how introverts communicate is a huge step toward creating strong bonds. Introvert love isn't impossible -- it can be romantic, gentle, and rewarding.

Dating for Introverts: Meeting Somebody New

If you’re just getting used to being an introvert in the singles scene, here are some suggestions for meeting somebody new.

1. Tell your friends and family. Dating for introverts can be easier when people you know are introducing you to their friends and family. You won’t be jumping into a nightclub or singles weekend retreat all by yourself. Dating for introverts should be a little softer and quieter than dating for extroverts.

2. Take a class. Now’s the time to take a writing or cooking class. Explore the activities you’ve always been interested in, but haven’t pursued. The singles scene for shy men and women doesn’t have to be obvious or embarrassing; it can be as simple as following your own natural interests.

3. Volunteer. Dating for introverts can begin with a genuine desire to help others: spending a few hours a week at a homeless shelter, hospital, or church with other volunteers is a great way to get to know people. Volunteering allows you to learn about your community and yourself in a whole new way – and it could open up the door into some introvert love! Being an introvert in the singles scene can be helpful for the whole community.

Dating for Introverts: On a Date with Someone New

These strategies will help shy men and women break the ice and feel more comfortable.

  • Start small. If it's your first date, make it a short coffee or walk. Dating for introverts is easier when there's less pressure, such as dinner at a fine French restaurant.
  • If you feel uncomfortable or nervous, talk about it. Voicing your feelings makes them less intimidating – and often makes them much easier to handle.
  • Be yourself. Dating for introverts (or for anyone) is difficult when you’re trying to be someone you’re not. Let yourself be real.
  • Bring a list of conversation starters. Even just jotting down interesting things to talk about before your date will help spur interesting conversation during the date. Dating for introverts is easier when you've thought in advance about making small talk.
  • Don’t overindulge in alcohol. Calm down with deep breaths and reminding yourself that your date is another human being with real feelings – and may be just as nervous as you are!

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The copyright of the article Dating for Introverts in Dating Advice is owned by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen. Permission to republish Dating for Introverts in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.


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